Oh hey! Did you miss us friend? Been a long time since we've caught up.
You know, as you so casually glance across these words and wonder where the hell today's blog is going, I'm curiously wanting to ask - On a scale of one to Jesus, just how great of a friend would you say you really are....?
I mean, I get it: We are all friends to someone. C'mon...Facebook told me the other day I have over 2,000 friends! (Then suggested people I may know, which included two exs. 😒 calm down Facebook.) Out of a couple of thousand people, there has to be at-least ten of those I can count on to be great, amazing, unconditional FRIENDS right!?
Hell no. Not even close. And I mean that in the most accepting, most humbling, most honest sense. I'm not mad about it. Neither should you be...it's just life. Just because someone has the title of friend, does not mean they are the epitome of love, dedication, trust, and support.
But I don't know friend.....some days I realize I don't think I'm okay with that.
How does it get like this? Maybe because we need to be more intentional with our words. Maybe we need to be more clear with our definitions. Maybe we need to be more honest with our intentions. Maybe maybe maybe....
Whatever the reason, starting now I want to challenge you:
1. Define what a friend is to you. Noooo not just "someone who isn't blocked on Facebook and can see the weekly videos I share on my timeline." No. Be very honest...what is a friend to you!? To me...it's someone that actually gives a fuck how your day is going, how your mom has been, and if you are feeling better after your two day battle with that three day old Chinese food. What are your friend parameters?
2. Do an annual friend audit. As days go on, wins stack up, success shows up, and money increases: EVERYBODY is happy and friendly. But who the fuck will be your "friend" when you keep losing, your shit sucks, and you need to borrow two dollars to get lunch? I've been there...and it's amazing how much we hold on to "friends" when they haven't even called to ask if you're doing okay when shit is sour. Hmm, let's talk about that.
3. Be a friend. It's nothing more disappointing than getting home after a particularly shitty day and seeing a "friend" text you, a friend that is pretty bad ass, only to see they want or need something. "Hey I need you to do (insert some random activity)" or "Yo can you (insert some bullshit ass request)". The next time you need something from someone, stop and ask yourself "Have I even ask this person about their day? Are they doing okay? Do they need some positive energy from a friend?" Then be that. Matter of fact......
4. Reach out to your friends. Now. Like...right now. Text. Call. Facebook. Message. iMessage. Direct message. Tweet. Whatever. Reach out for the sake of sending some good energy and support. BE A SERVANT. Stop basing your happiness or frequency of interaction on what you can GET.....and just frigging give. Give time. Give love. Give hugs. Give advice. Give space. Give understanding. Give. Give. Give. Be a giving friend. Stop disguising your undertaking as abundant love. Because that's just fake. And drake said to watch out for Fake Love.
Look it's not hard to be a friend. But you have to understand it's a relationship just like others. It thrives on COMMUNICATION, CONNECTION, TRUST, and RESPECT. If you are starving the connection of communication but fill it with expectation....you're being a pretty shitty friend. Or maybe you weren't a friend in the first place....and that's actually okay. Just don't expect friendly access with acquaintance level commitment.
Be a friend.
Love your friends.
Commit to the friendship.
And above all......share funny videos with your friends. Because that shit is always interesting in the comment section.